another week passed by just like this.. basically i cant really remember what i'd been doing for the whole of last week.. guessed it's just another week of slacking plus a few outings lah.. and for the whole week Jayen had been a very good boy, but still showing occasional tantrums lah. hahaha. it had also been a week of good bonding with the lil boy. =) he's really learning to speak alot le.. or maybe all along i'd missed out what he'd learnt throughout his times in school.. haha. anyway he can be a real darling when he's behaving himself but a real pest too when he's not! hahaha. very extreme. still, he's lovable~!! and darn cute!!

on saturday, dage and i brought him to causeway point and watched movie! hahaha. the very first time i went to movie with just dage alone! too bad there wasnt any kiddy show on screen and thus we decided to watch Silk. haha. and jayen sat in the theatre to eat popcorns only. haha. not a nice show i would say. after that, brought jayen to kiddy palace to buy some toys and sweets for him.. hahaha. he's such a good brother~! cos when he want to buy something, he will get another item and then say, "this one for didi." and if he get himself two different kind of sweets, he will also choose two for his lil brother! how sweeeeet??

sunday, met up with rick, teng, hian and jj who brought along lil javier and i brought along my ah fat to Vivo City~! seriously i dunno how big the place is cos i couldnt really see the whole center. but i know it's damn crowded! and the saddest part is, we only visited a few places namely, Carls JR for our lunch.. the outdoor kids playground to entertain the two lil boys.. Toys R Us for the boys.. the outdoor place on the third level.. and!! Food Republic for our dinner. hahahahahaha. so basically the whole day, we only brought the boys out to play. hahaha. nevertheless, it was fun and of cos tiring as the boys are so hyper! and we agreed that we can only bring them out once in a few months time. lol.

Javier Pung a.k.a Yang Yang.

Jayen Aw a.k.a ah fat. he thought he's smoking.

the unfriendly Jayen refused to take a shot with the friendly Javier.

that was the best i can take.. whenever Javier move nearer to Jayen, he will move further. hahaha!

ah fat with the very entertaining hian gor-gor.. that's why i love to bring hian out~! hahaha. they love each other deeply.

guess they are enjoying as much as the boys..

hahahahahahaha.

he's so cute!!

the fatherly Punk.

the motherly Me. lol.

"im damn bored!!"

finally they held hands.. but it's going home time~!

haha. look at Jayen!

conclusion? two cute lil boys acting cute = NOT cute!

the one.

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's my girl.'”

guessed i'd already found it. =)

Jayen was playing with a ballon in the living room.. seeing him enjoying himself so much, i decided to entertain him a little. hahaha. so i helped to hit the ballon in his direction when it flew over to my side on the sofa.. haha. after a while, he hold on to the ballon, all prepared to throw it to my side and he yelled, "are u READY?!" whahahahahahahahaha! i burst out laughing. so funny lah! he'd really learn to speak quite alot.. =) and he can sing too. hahahaha. with some broken + singlish of cos~! haha.

GuGu: "come Jayen, lets take a photo~! smile~!!"


=TAKE ONE=
GuGu: "wah!! so ugly! one more time.. smile properly!"
Jayen: *chuckles*

Jayen (pointing to his face): "like this can??"

=TAKE TWO=
GuGu: "okok. one more one more.. smile~!"

=TAKE THREE=
conclusion? he can do lots of funny expressions with his lil cutie face, but still, take two was his most NATURAL smile~!! really!! trust me!! hahahaha! and yes!! he really did ask me, "like this can?!"

hyna day

it's hyna day~!! the boy of the night.. with fire sparkles as background~!

the boy trying to act excited~!

the guys without the bear and the cockroach..

SHE with the boy.

the must-have-t-shirt during our bdaeS~! creation of the Panda!

hahahaha. an almost imperfect self potrait.

all thanks to the passerby..

and they were so spontaneous that they joined in the birthday song when stupid panda requested for it~!!! hahahaha.

make a wish~ he made a wish~!

errr.. stupidness are bound to be included during these kinda gatherings~! hahahahaha.

the two big tents!

its home time!

happy childrens' day~!!

hahahahahahahahaha. retard at dhoby ghaut.

well, the boy here didnt manage to keep up to his words when i truly thot he was serious about that.. hahaha. anyway, hope he'll be able to do it soon~! and just like what he thot, i really dunno when will the animals start to think that animals are stupid. hahahaha. im so in love with them and if i can, i'll marry all of them! =) they're simply awesome~!!~

My laptop is finally back to life~!!!

hahaha. so damn happy. =) at least now i've got something to do at home. haha. but felt so sad for my pocket. =( there goes $434~! hahaha. currently still looking for sponsors for the repair cost! hahaha!

well, it'd also been a long time since i last blogged.. but right now blogger is giving me some problems thus i cant upload any photos. so i shan't go into the sentosa trip now. but in short, we bought a cake for hian, talked and joked, camped there for the night, get ourselves wet in the sea, packed up, headed to lucky plaza for lunch and to buy the PSP, then home we went. everyone were damn tired. but of cos we enjoyed ourselves too thou there wasnt as much craziness as compared to the previous trip. haha. i came back home to put my stuffs then went over to ah dah's house together with a box of mooncakes for his parents. haha. packed his stuffs and then sent him back to camp.

then, my jobless week began.. hahaha. practically i did nothing for the first two days.. haha. except for sleeping, eating, and slacking. on wednesday, i sent my bro's car to the garage for maintainence servicing.. then i went back to bugis to do some clearance stuffs. on thursday it's erjiu's death anniversary so we went over to grandma's house to pray.. and finally Joy called to tell me that the contract is ready so i arranged for a meeting the following day. hahaha. so on friday, i went down to CMPB to sign the contract.. yeah, i'd signed the contract! hahaha and im starting work on 23 October. funny i know, cos after a day of work, it's a public holiday, meaning i get to rest after working for only a day. =) hahaha.

saturday.. waited the whole afternoon for birdy to book out. he reached home only at 8+pm. he'd been busy for the whole week and we havent had alot of time to talk over the phone.. hmmm.. his new vocation didnt seems easy. haha. lotsa shits he had to clear. but good for him lah.. to train him in clearing shits. hahaha. anyway, brought my lil cousins to our usual spot every year on this festival to play.. it'd been months since i last saw all the seven + six of them. hmmm.. they are still the same, but i missed the younger them. poor jayen and zanver missed out all the fun cos one is suffering from Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease while the other one is having fever due to the growing of new tooth + the super bad weather.. luckily both are recovering already..

catched Rob-B-Hood with birdy after sending the kids home.. haha. wanted to watch World Trade Center but i guessed he's not in the state of mind to watch that kinda show. hahaha. he was so darn shagged. anyway, the show is nice~! and by looking at the super cute baby, i've thots of giving birth almost immediately!! whahahahahaha!

we woke up late on sunday and had our dinner at Pizza Hut~! omg~! i'd been craving for pizzas since dunno how many weeks back! hahaha. yummy! after we bought the stuffs he needed, we went back home. throughout the whole day, the topic was, whether to let his brother go on a genting trip with his friends. hahahaha. after the whole thing, i finally understand the difficulties of being an older sibling~! hahaha. personally im the youngest in my family and this is the first time im faced with this kinda problems! even his mother was asking me, if i think it's ok for him to go. hahaha. quite alot of things to consider lah. i must really admit, im surprised by what xiang said.. haha. anyway, i think that she should be grateful that both her sons are really sensible. =)

ohwell, that's about all for the first week being jobless~! hahaha. basically im enjoying myself lah!

working for so long.. guess it's time to post some pictures of the messy "office" here~! hahaha~!

my personal space.. oops~! think thats a msn window on my lcd~! whahaha.

my boss's messy table with all the rubbish around..

thats the view from my seat.. a very small + bloody messy back room.. somewhere i gonna miss for sure~! =)

last but not least, me and my best colleague whose bdae happens to fall on my last day of work~!!


yeah~! and now, im gonna head down to dhoby ghaut to meet my dearest animals~!!! and guess wat? meeting time, set by me, 2130hr, and now the clock here shows 2140, im still blogging away~!! hahaha! last time blogging here.. ciao~!! =)

yeah, finally i made a decision for my own benefit~!!

The last day, supposedly

"if he sees me on monday meaning i'll work for another week. and if he doesnt, then thats it. =)"
thats what i told yantee when boss asked her to convey the message to me. he asked if i could stay for a lil longer as he'd yet to find a replacement.. but! my last day had been dragged from 10th to 30th le leh!! -_-'' sickening. and not to mention i tendered my resignation on 28th August. im only obliged to give them a two weeks notice. haha. baby told me, "i hope i wont see u online on monday!" hahaha.

dunno leh.. at the point of typing this entry, im really really sick already. had slacken considerably since dunno how long back. (that explains the excess fats growing in me~!!) haha. the passion is no longer there. first thing i stepped into the office, i signed into MSN, go through all the must-read-blogs, then i start work. hahaha! how good life? even when boss is sitting just behind me, i surfed net instead of working! omg. cannot make it. on weekends, when boss is not around, i slack even more! surf more net, chat, download songs, play games, and right now, blogging! (of cos im not the only one around here doing such things lah! the supervisor? watch vcd and even bring in his personal computer here for our technician to repair!) hahaha. the cow says, "every job like yours, work will be heaven~!" hahahaha. my baby, she claims OT and chit chat with her boss!! isnt that even better?! hahahaha.

but i know if i dun stay, i'll feel really bad. so guilty for leaving them when they are so short-handed. hmmm.. birdy says, "think for urself lah.. u wanted a break before u start ur new job." yeah true lah. but i'd only received an sms from Joy saying that my contract had been sent for higher approval, and once it's being approved then she will call me and arrange for a meeting. earliest is the coming week. = i'd start to realise how tedious it is to work in the government sector. hahaha.

erge kept telling me that i'll definitely regret in choosing this path. but since i'd already came to this stage and given my character, i just cant be bothered by what others is going to say. he said, "i give u two weeks." haha. i wont be affected thou in the beginning he actually told me that, it's up to myself to decide and give it a try~! well, lets hope i can prove them wrong and then they'll realise that i'd my own plans in life. =) most importantly, i know, birdy will be there with me no matter what kinda problems i gonna face in the future. =.)

i think my mind is already set..

傻人有傻福..

to date, i finally understand what did ppl mean when they say that.. haha. cos when a person is 傻, they'll only see things that is right in front of them and whatever others say, they'll have no doubts. they'll not think out of the box, thus, never think to much. hahaha. how i wish i can be a bit 傻-er? but too bad im born with a lil 小聪明! whahahahaha..

p/s: im a blissful & happily married woman~!

26 september

just another 26th..
yeah, two more months to my 21st~! haha.
am so so so looking forward to this coming saturday~! hahaha. that will be my very last day working in O2. =) and after work that night i'll be meeting up with the buncha stupid ppl to sentosa~! hahaha. so excited and im expecting whole loads of stupidity from the animals~! hahaha.

i really wanted to blog but my brain is stucked.

life..

"no life in me..", he said.
what exactly is life? how do u consider urself having a life and not having one? hahaha. im sure i dunno how to differentiate. waking up every other morning, go to work and home sweet home.. is that life? having a whole list of programs all lined up waiting for u to do.. is that life?? hahaha.

ahdah is sick.. in fact he had been having fever since wednesday night.. how poor thing.. he was supposed to be on duty this weekend and cos of the fever, he escaped from that and was released a day earlier. haha. lets pray hard he wont be ask back next week to do his duty~! if not he's gonna miss out alot fun with the animals~! hahaha.

is maintaining a relationship really so difficult?? im feeling so so.. hai~ i really dunno what to say.. dearie, dun be rash k? remember one thing, the tighter u hold on to it, the more it will struggle and want to fly away~ so, dun force. take time to talk things out and everything will be fine.. control ur own feelings.. it's right that when two person are together, they should tell each other everything.. but things are to be done at the right time, if not everything might just back-fired. for this, u knew it.. hold on to the one who are worthy of ur love and give up on those who aint appreciative of what u're doing for them.

kinda distracting when im blogging in the office. =( blame it on my laziness for not getting my laptop fix~! haha. shall continue some other time~! for now, it's time to go back and look at the pathetically sick bird~!

waiting is tough but giving up is tougher~!

˜◦ ğ є σ ŗ و є ▫ says:
"ur eyes looked big in this pic!"

yantee&me. i cant wait to stop working~!!!

i really cant believe it. HE must had enjoy playing a fool of me. i went to sembawang yesterday to settle birdy's bike installment.. when i was standing at this particular spot, thinking of some related past.. i heard this song. when i was in the train on my way to eunos, after seeing birdy off at boonlay, i heard that song again.. i lifted my head and to my horror, i was at redhill!!! FreaK. i ALWAYS set my mp3 to shuffle mode lor! and i have FORTY songs playing in my phone! fine, maybe im just being paranoid. hahaha. even if im not, i also dunno what's the message HE's trying to pass across. did the song describes all? or is it the exact opposite? i never will know.. if YOU are really trying to pass down some kinda messages to me, please be more precise. at times, i really dunno how to appreciate the pleasure of this kinda guessing game. =)

anyway, bohteck went to min's grandpa's funeral with us too. hmmm.. guess all of us updated each other a lil about our life.. yeah, all except ailing! haha. as always lah.. she's forever avoiding our questions when it comes to discussing about our futures. haha. and none of us actually have a clue about what she's doing everyday! friends, is what we call. perhaps acquaintance is more appropriate ya? hahaha. err.. i just dun understand how her brain function lah. anywayanyway, maybe we should start to organise some gatherings with the other guys also.. boutique.. yande.. zhiyi.. yufang?? hahaha! hopefully the few childish ones have grown more matured lah. but i really dun mind going for a meal with them once in a few months time. =)

in a relationship, both parties have to be in tandem..
otherwise it will never work.

眼底星空

你好喜欢看我眼睛
你说是宇宙的缩影
只要没有分离
天气晴 能看见星星
我努力爱你宠你调整自已

我是邻居还是伴侣
时间带来残忍结局
在爱情的隔壁住友情
界线太锐利
对不起就一刀切开所有亲密

眼底星空 流星开始坠落
每一滴眼泪说着你要好好走
转过身跌入黑洞
看着天长地久变两种漂泊
男人流泪比流血加倍心痛

眼底星空 流星跌落手中
我紧紧握着抬头向上天祈求
愿你先找到温柔
有人包扎伤口也挡住寂寞
谢谢你陪我陪爱 听雨追风

用三年去维系感情
用三秒钟结束关系
剩回忆能回去 能温习 能把你抱紧
就算爱烧成灰尽扬起变乌云

眼底星空 流星跌落手中
我紧紧握着抬头向上天祈求
愿你先找到温柔 有人包扎伤口也挡住寂寞
谢谢你陪我陪爱 听雨追风
谢谢他给你给爱另一个星空

lethargic sunday

LETHARGIC!!! yeah. exactly how i'd been feeling for the whole day~! almost kill me. happily thot that today will be my last day of work in O2 but who knows boss called on friday and asked me if i can stay and help him for the time being till he finds someone to replace me.. well, knowing me, do u think i will reject him? haha. yeah right, wanted to help them initially but changed my mind cos im really really sick of working already~!! oMg! who can help me?!?! i've got a lifetime to work u know!!

thursday off, friday worked, saturday off, sunday work. -_-" went down to Changi Naval Base on thursday morning with LTA Jeff who offered to send me there to save all my journey + security troubles. so kind of him. =) thot it might be a lil awkward as that was our first meeting but he's actually one nice guy to chat with. haha. he was kinda proud of himself when the DJ on air were saying that alot of females voted NAVY's uniform as the nicest uniform! whahahaha! cos their pants can emphasize their TIGHT BUTTS! whahahahaha~! was so damn funny. anyway, to cut everything short, i went to the first unit and decided i dun want to go to another two units to see, thus that will be my future work place~! Changi Pers Hub! hahaha. yeah, i'll have my own BIG table, with my OWN corner~! yeah, im exciteD~! hahaha.

yesterday had dinner with cheetiong, jiajun, huixiong, huipin and siting at the sembawang shopping center thai restaurant. hahaha. like what derick actually said, with ST around, it's an added bonus. without her, it's nvm. saying that she will be there yet didnt turn up, is a disappointment! whahaha! how true it is. haha. brought our two lil Js along.. Jayen and Javier~! haha. how aunties and uncles we are! hmmm.. all of us agreed that we'd really grow OLD le!! haha.

after the dinner, sent all of them back and then me and tiong went to this KTV PUB call, After Five, to look for his camp mates.. haha. one of his fren, Frank, actually brought along a few girl-frens.. and guess wat? one of the girl was actually hyna's ex girlfriend, Alina~! whahah. the world is really small~! anyway the guys are comical lah~! esp Derek. he's really similar to Derick Gwee who can also zi bian zi dao zi yan! they're really talented in that area!! hahahahah!

baby asked me, "u miss him?" hmmm.. i think i do. =) for the past weekend he'd been appearing a few times in my mind, even when i was with birdy. hahaha! that doesnt mean anything lah. cos my heart is still with birdy~! haha. really hurt him too much lah..

Boss finally opened his mouth and asked when is my last day.. hahah. two different thots i've got.

first - sincerely wish to help them, esp yantee, until they find a replacement for me.

second - the more i work, the more i feel like leaving.. cos im really tired and would like to take a good rest before i start my new job. hahaha.

why do i always have to spare a thot for others and make things difficult for myself? i've got no answer. YeaH. working life truly sucks. i really miss the fun we'd got in secondary school and the freedom we enjoyed in poly.. haha. im always nice to the ppl im working with.. not to let them like me or what but just to maintain a good working environment with nice colleagues.. but seems like some are kinda taking advantages of me for being soft. haha. hmmm.. but ok lah. cos at the end of the day we'll still be talking and joking around. this leads to me believing that, actually everyone is very nice, it's just that some of them have very bad temper. haha. is that really the way or am i just being too naive? or am i just trying to deceive myself by making the world seems so beautiful? haha. *shrugs*

jj was enlisted yestd. too bad im going for the camp orientation tml if not i'll send him there. hahah. the day before, hian and i met up with him and went for supper at 888! we had chilli crabs! yummy yum! was kinda pathetic cos the rest of the animals were either too far away or busy. anyway, thou his childhood ambition was thrashed as he was being relocated to the Civil Defense instead of the Police Academy, he's satisfied enough that he doesnt have to stay in after his POP. hahahahaha!

some thots gushed in when i was at city hall.. why is it sometimes u get to see this particular person u dunno, for a few times on different occasions.. while some ppl u're hoping to see, u never get to.. hahah. i just dun get it. haha. is fate playing a fool on us?

when a seemingly perfect relationship come to an end, everyone around will be surprise. one of the party (or maybe both?) will be utterly heart broken, while the other one might just move on with life immediately.. haha. sounds very familiar? haha.
what will i do if im the one being hurt?
move on with my life.
yeah, easier said than done.
but i remember he once told me..
what is there to feel nostalgic about when everything had become history?
those "dear, i miss u!"
"i love u, darling!"
"good nite, laogong!"
has all become "dear, i missED u!"
"i lovED u, darling!"
"good nitED, laogong!"
hahaa.
it might not be easy in the beginning.. but i always believe that time is the best medicine to heal all wounds. haha. sooner or later u'll realise that u'd gotten over everything.. and what's left behind is only memories.. sweet and bitter memories. those who thot that they had yet to get over their ex might not even realise what they're holding onto is only the beautiful memories instead of the person..
yeah. so instead of holding onto something which doesnt belong to u anymore, why not just face up to reality and move on with ur life too?

some thots...... some thots.... just some thots..

just read this email.. quite interesting.. hahaha.


There was this museum laid with beautiful marble tiles, with a huge marble statue displayed in the middle of the lobby. Many people came from all over the world just to admire this beautiful marble statue. One night, the marble tiles started talking to the marble statue.

Marble tile: Marble statue, it's just not fair, it's just not fair! Why does everybody from all over the world come all the way here just to step on me while admiring you? Not fair!

Marble statue: My dear friend, marble tile. Do you still remember that we were actually from the same cave?

Marble tile: Yeah! That's why I feel it is even more unfair. We were born from the same cave and yet we receive different treatment now. Not fair!"

Marble statue: Then, do you still remember the day when the designer tried to work on you, but you resisted the tools?

Marble tile: Yes, of course I remember. I hate that guy! How could he use those tools on me, it hurt so badly.

Marble statue: That's right! He couldn't work on you at all as you resisted being worked on.

Marble tile: So???

Marble statue: When he decided to give up on you and start working on me instead, I knew at once that I would be something different after his efforts. I did not resist his tools, instead I bore all the painful tools he used on me.

Marble tile: Mmmmmm......

Marble statue: My friend, there is a price to everything in life. Since you decided to give up half way, you can't blame anybody who steps on you now."


The moral of the story is ....
It simply means that the more hard knocks you go through in life, the more you'll learn and put them to use in the future!! Do not be discouraged by setbacks and failures. Past is past, you can't change it but it is actually a blessing in disguise. Past was good, Present is better and the future will always be the best.

Birdy's block leave..

1st - it was e passing out parade~! drove e parents there.. went back home633 for dinner after e whole parade and mama leow showed me some photos of their family~! hahaha. birdy didnt change much since he was a lil boy~! after dat, went back to home659 with ah dah! hahaha.

2nd - work. met up with animals for mala steamboat~! walked to esplanade from bugis, chit chat talk cock act stupid~! whahahaha. cabbed back to home633~!

3rd - i had sudden cravings for e dou jiang you tiao at You Tiao Wang~! thus, ah dah brought me there for supper~! hahaha. yummy yum~!! went straight back to home659 for a good rest!~

4th - no blues cos there's no work~! haah! slept till noon and headed to orchard with birdy.. it's been a long time since i went shopping! (not including online lah!) hahaha. far east.. hereen.. cineleisure.. just cant find a pair of flip flop i really likes! duh. had dinner at Central and e food are really quite nice.. haha. hongkong style~! went back home659 after dat to look after my two lil darlingS~!

5th - work.. work... work~! birdy went out with his camp mates and met me at dhoby ghaut.. together we went back to home633~! after bathing, he surprised me with e bottle of roses which he folded it all by himself~!! oMg. i was freaking touched and surprised too! hahaha. he's really a sweetie~! pink and blue roses! =D he actually bought all e stuffs at one of e push carts at bugis.. and he asked me not to go there to look at their display cos he's afraid i'll not like wat he'd done after seeing. haha! cos e display is much more nicer compared to his~!! whahahaha. silly botak!

6th - ah dah sent me to work cos mama leow bought us breakfast and we had to finish them before leaving home.. den he waited two hours for me to have lunch together~! after dat he met up with hyna for pool and den together they came back to bugis to fetch me back to home659~! how fortunate of me~!!

7th - ah dah sent me to work again cos i was running late! hahaha. wanted to go for supper at chong pang but changed our mind therefore we went to 630 kopitiam. saw ah guang there!! omG!! freaking long time didnt see him le! hahaha! he was damn shocked. anyway.. those were e days lah.. yeemu and yeegong~! hahaha!

8th - finally it's my off day~! woke up and went to eat McDonald breakfast~! poor ah dah had been wanting to eat since tuesday but e lazy girlfriend is too tired to wake up early to have it with him cos she was working mah.. hahahaha. so he had to wait till she's not working lor.. haha. went back home633 to spend a lil time with ah ma leow and den we went to city square~! watched The Little Man! yeah, it's funny! hahaha. baby and aide came in after dat and we went shopping for a while.. finally i bought a pair of kitten heels! haha. after everything, we went our separate ways back to singapore~! hahah. home659 to bath and den home633 for dinner! again, jayen did something funny!! hahaha. he knew i was going out and wanted to follow thou he also knew dat he cant go.. (was in a goody mood cos i gave him a magnet from Cars~!) when birdy stepped out of e door, he quickly pulled e door and said, "i want to close e door!" whahahahahaha. den i asked him, "how bout GuGu den? GuGu cannot go out ar?" he replied, "NO! u stay at home!" whahahaha!! so funnnnny!!!!! sooooooo cute!!!!!!

9th - woke up and ah dah prepared breakfast for me~!! how nice~! went to have my hair cut and den home659 intending to bring jayen to e chalet with my dear ladies.. too bad he wasn't in a good mood as he just woke up from his afternoon nap. too bad lah. reached e chalet at around 5pm and e few of them were already in e pool. started drizzling and den we went back to e room together.. when e guys got e BBQ pit back to our chalet, we started to set up e fire.. (actully only min was doing dat and e rest of us were watching her!) whahaha! she's really a pro man! haha. less den like.. fifteen minutes? and everything was done. BBQing began~!

talked and joked alot.. hahahaha. all thanks to min's one sentence, "I want e BALLS!" omg~!! everyone went high~! whahahaha. lotsa laughters and nonsense den followed on. haha. everyone was so full after e BBQ.. cleaned up and washed up den some bitching session.. taking nonsensical photos all thanks to my baby.. haha. later part of e day was MAHJONG! fun fun. haha. after e mahjong, we played HOTEL. haha. it's a board-game which is almost similar as Monopoly. yeah kinda fun lah. anyway, wont elaborate further.

10th - dragged myself out of e mattress and prepared for work. argh! so so sleepy. birdy sent me to work from e chalet and den he went home to pack up his stuffs cos he gotta book in tonight! in fact.. he's already in his camp at tis hour. haha. well, ten days is over.. e routine had to start all over again.. hahaha. talking to him on e phone after 2200hr, sometimes earlier.. and seeing him on weekends or public holidays only.. hahaha. hmmm..
i misses him =)

me with his jockey cap!

thx to tis photo and birdy is calling me YUAN YUAN! ARGH!!!

min:pin:fen:aide

botak&me!

~roses of love~

POP & steamboat!

e boys so engross in e TV show..

when lil zanver discovered me holding a camera phone!

and when they posed for e camera~!! whahahahahaa!

hahaha! they are really from e same parents~! haha.

>-1st September 2006-
Recruit Private C T Leow!

e day started as early as 0545hr.. drove my uncle to work and den borrowed his car.. went amk for breakfast with my grandma, uncle, aunt and mama. it'd been so long. haha. went back home rest awhile and den drove over to 633.. waited for birdy's family to come down and den headed to his camp~! haha. a long and slightly awkward journey. reached there a lil early and saw paul's dad, sis and girlfriend. it was so hot and we'd to walk a long way to e parade square. poor ahma leow~! but tink she's still very happy lah! haha.

e whole parade was boring except for e part when we were trying to figure out where e boy was standing. luckily he already informed me beforehand on his exact location. haha. funny. his look with e helmet. haha! shall not post dat pic here. =D after dat it's finally time for e parents to put on e jockey cap for all e passing out recruits~! and not forgetting some photos taking session. haha.

me with e Leow family.

paul,val,fen,tiong

he loves to act cute!

everything ended after sunset and den we went back to 633 for dinner. =)

organised a lil gathering with e Animals.. had Ma La Steamboat at bugis.. yummy yummy~! hahaha. as usual, siting didnt join us. frankly speaking, not anything new~! hahahaha. only dat tis time she was kinda sick and therefore cant make it. hmmm.. of cos it was fun lah~! it's animals k! hahahaha. e way they joke bout siting is now an air stewardess, e way derick acted as an ABT (Amercian Born Thai!), e way jiajun stuck his fingers into his nose, and e way they marched along e road and posed for their POP photo! whahahahahahaha! was really fun despite e fact dat im so so tired.. and when there is no where to go, they just continued to walk and walk all e way to Esplanade. hahaha. funny. nowhere to go and yet no one suggest to go home. perhaps they felt paise to end e nite so early? or maybe they simply enjoy each other's company? for me, it's e latter~! =)

his habit hasn't change a bit after returning from Genting!

fall in!

cheetiong, huixiong, jiajun, kenghian, derick, yongteng, paulson

POP lo!!!

tis morning before jayen left for school, he told my sis-in-law.. "i wan to byebye ahma~!" (meaning he wan to say byebye to his grandma lah..) den before i actually said, "Byebye, Jayen~!" he was already saying, "i dun wan byebye GuGu!" whahahahahahahahahaha! wat else can i say?!?! hahaha.

boss rejected my resignation letter. =(
he asked wats my main concern.. e reason why i wanted to leave.. and i told him frankly, it's e pay. haha. he asked wats my expected pay and i told him around 1.5k! den he asked again.. "wat if im able to request from HR for a pay increment to around that amount? will u still stay?" i went speechless. -_-" hai.

i really like working here. e ppl and boss everyone is nice. it's like we work as a whole family.. thou internally there are still some conflicts between each other.. alot are just pure misunderstanding due to poor communication skills. i understand alot more things after being e translator for e two chinaman working here and boss. oh yeah, he's a malay guy with a good sense of humour and he's really nice. i almost tear just now at e thot of leaving them.. to be honest, in e beginning when i agreed to work is also bcos of him. e kinda.. i dunno how to say.. but after e interview, i know i dun mind working for him. hahaha. it's just like when u really meet e one guy u love, u just know he is e one! hahaha.
p/s: just like how miss piggy is feeling rite now~! =p

alrite, i'd took e letter back from him.. meaning to him i'll reconsider.. but for ppl who knows me shld know dat i can be quite stubborn at times lah. hahaha! once i'd made up my mind, it will be hard to change it. =) so i guess.. i'll just print another letter and give it to him. haha. but i dunno when. since navy have yet to ask me down for e camp orientation and from wat i know, joy have yet to receive e medical report from e medical center. i shall just wait.

forgiving oneself is even harder den forgiving others..

baby is complaining dat i have not been blogging.. hahaha! where got time?! im not like u lor so free at work! hahaha.
ok, just let me update on my lil darling.. hahaha! monday morning, i woke up and went to bath as usual.. when i finished bathing, i heard Brenda saying to Jayen..
"there.. GuGu is here.."
den when i stepped into e living room, he walked out from my room with a blur, just woke up look.. and he goes..
"GuGu.. ur phone RING RING RING!"
and repeated a few times! omG!!! so funny can?!?! whahahahahahah!!! i almost burst out laughing. he was in such a good mood lor!! well, he had been very naughty for e past one or two weeks.. but tis few days he really did behave himself. hope dat can last. =)

hahaha! tis is funny! a colleague actually commented: "u very skinny huh? like those SUPER model!" oh man!! super model got tis kinda height one ar??!! whahahahaha!! she make me burst out laughing!!!

8m 51s -- latest record of birdy's 2.4km run~! hahaha! he actually broke e record of his whole company!! amazing. hahaha!

and!!! i just found out something from Missy Cow.. something super fishy!!! and something really weird~!!! Miss Piggy.. i tink we need some confirmation from u ya??!! hmmmmmmmmmmm...............

my life as an DXO

interview on monday was a nightmare. Haha! EIGHT interviewers to ONE applicant! nevertheless, i passed e interview with flying colors! Haha. Out of six units, three selected me thus im given a choice.. BUT! All three is in Changi! Hahaha! is tis good or bad news? Can someone pls enlighten me?! Anyway, they will arrange for me to go down personally to e unit to take a look and decide which unit im more comfortable in..

Yeah so wat its just an DXO with minimum prospect? As long as it's able to provide me with wat im expecting now, dat will be good enuff. Haha. I know it's real silly to go all e way to changi and e inconvenience will kill me. But i believe i'll be able to endure for e contractual two years.. (of cos dat doesnt mean there wont be grumbles~!) haha!

Frankly speaking, rite now im so contented with wat i have, it makes me lazy to re consider wat i really wan to do. =x therefore, i dun even wan to go job hunting again.. Jus wan to grab wateva is available rite in front for me! Moreover, i haven enjoy myself enuff! I still wanna play hard! But at least like i promised myself, i found a DECENT and JUSTIFIABLE job before i turns 21! wats important is dat, it's stable and im still young when e contract is due! Hahah.

And also, i had my future lay out for e next five years already. =) ok, thou i wont know where exactly i'll be five years later.. i know dat i'll spend e next two as an DXO, using tis period of time to tink of wat i really wans.. I'll clear my cpf debts asap and hopefully i can be discipline enuff to save up for my degree! Haha. God bless i wont spend e three-bonus-per-year on holidays, holidays and more holidays! Wahaha! By den, it will really be time to sit down and make a decision.. Haha.

To pursue my studies or to step into e working society completely?

Life is so unpredictable. .
Expect e least out of e unexpectable and u'll be happier. .
Accept e facts of e unacceptable, and life will be easier. .
=)

Please please please allow me to do some shouting and cursing here!! FUCKING HELL!! Im freaking pissed by dage lor!! Fuck. So wat u bought me a pair of earring from Swarovski?? Wat if i cant retrieve all my data in MY laptop?! Had been awaiting for e return of MY laptop and now u're finally back and he's spoilt! Wat e hell? My photos u know! And yet u can appear nonchalant bout it! I know u didnt wan it to happen too but is it fair to me or not?! At least if u seems a lil apologetic i wont feel so angry. But instead of saying sorry, u asked me to get out of ur room when i was asking bout MY laptop's whereabouts! Yeah so i cant do anything bout it and have to wait till u're willing to bring back MY laptop from dunno where! Shit hole. Well, and i kinda admire myself for not flaring up on u or say any awful thing to u! Argh! Still, i've to thanks for e earrings. Its pretty. =)

my poor laptop... =(

Results? i am e loser~!!! bubble tea will be on me when i come back to work on tuesday~!! whahahahahahahahaha! oh and yesterday i actually saw a lady holding tis on e train..



seems like it can really make a good 21st birthday present~! oh pls, not from KL or Bangkok k? Holiday Plaza will be betta ya? =)

My mind is set. =)

I will leave tis company on 10 September~! gonna tender my resignation on 25 August.. hahaha~! alot of them were asking, why dun u wait till u find another job before quitting e current one? i dun like dat idea. besides, i dun have time to sit down to search for one. haha. not giving myself excuses to procrastinate but i really have not enuff time~! i would rather free myself from tis company and all e job load (not as if i have alot~! whaha.) and den really settle down to find a decent and well paid job. at least something which is more justified for e amount of time and energy i put into. hahaha. initially planned to leave at e end of e month so dat i can accompany birdy during his ten days block leave.. and at e same time give myself a short "holiday" before continuing with my life. but den.. due to some "colleague and colleague" conflicts, i'd decided to stay till 10th. at least tis way, both W and Y can get wat they wan rite? hahaha. sorry boy, i have to sacrifice u~!

was awoken by a phone call on my first off day, thursday. was thrilled instead of pissed~! hahaha. e other party was a lady name Joy, from e Army Career Center! hahaha. she asked if i was still interested in e application for e DXO post and of cos i am~! oh btw, DXO = Defence eXecutive Officer. thus, an interview was arranged for me on 21st August, 1330hr. well, didnt expect to have e chance to go for e interview cos was told dat they had stop employing ppl at e moment and might last for a yr or two.. anyway, wish me luck for e interview k?! i certainly hope i can get tis job! =)

westmall Ka-Fei-Dou with e bitches on friday~! haha! Coffee Bean! juicy gossips shared between each other. hahaha. had been a long long time since e three of us sat down to chat. hmmm.. cant really recall wat was being discussed on dat day but nevertheless, it was pleasant and i truly hope for more of such sessions. and of cos preferably with lesser conflicts with regards to e time and venue yeah? hahaa.

back to work on sat.. heard alot bout W from Y.. hahah. tis is working life~! but seriously, i too find dat W is too much.. her attitude really cannot make it lah. good thing is, i still can take it lah. hahaha. anyway everything goes smoothly at work and met up with birdy at causeway to catch My Super Ex-Girlfriend. hmmm.. shld have watch e Break Up instead. haha. wasted our money. =x watch or not, depends on urself~!

bought a power ranger bag for jayen and gave it to him tis morning. e moment i asked,
me: "wat must u say?"
jayen: "thank u, GuGu!"
awWww! sweetie! and den he was playing with e bag himself.. and guess wat? he hid e bag behind him and said, "i dun have power ranger bag~!" and a while later, he took it out and said, "i have power ranger bag~!!" darn cute can??!!??!! whahahahaha. silly him. and he was in so good mood dat when birdy went up to leave my stuffs, he greeted "Gor-Gor" automatically! haha. tink he's so looking forward to school tml so dat he can "show off" his new bag~! hahahaha!

Baby and Bobby came to have lunch with me just now.. err.. is looked at me have lunch, to be exact. hahaha. and aide just dropped by to visit me for awhile and return me my neoprints.. as well as get those neoprints from me to scan! hahaha. poor girl~!! and now im in e office playing mahjong online with my colleagues~!! hahah. bubble tea treat on e loser! LOL. e whole group of ppl working here are all bubble tea freak~!!

Happy Yesterday.

Haha. Woke up to e greeting from my lil darling. He came in to e room and whispered, "Gu-Gu.." haha! Opened my eyes once i heard dat and saw him holding on to a bucket of those "sand digging toy"! Asked him where is he going and his reply was, "im going to Sen-toe-Sa!" wahaha! So cute can!? Wat a great start off for e day.. Reached work a lil late and started busying. Msn thruout e whole afternoon with Shipin till she knocked off. Haha. First time in history. Laughed alot at work with Yantee who's really a joker. Busy but enjoyable. Haha. There was companion on e way home.. Jiajun and James. Haha. Discussing bout another Genting trip in early september. Finally understand why are we in a clique. Cos we're one of a kind! Haha. Damn freaking broke yet so eager to go on holidays even thou is just a short getaway to somewhere we'd been to umpteen times! Hahaha!He suggested Sunway Lagoon but e hotel not as cheap as Genting leh.. RM50 for three days two nights with breakfast for two mornings and magic show tix leh! Isn't dat SOOOO affordable?! Haha!

Yeah and e beautiful nite ended with a surprise call from birdy who's still in tekong~! Thou e whole conversation lasted less den two minutes and we each said less den five sentences, it's more den enuff to keep my lips curving upwards while i slp! Haha. i misses him. =)

Chanced upon a so-call-fren's frenster and realised he's back with his ex girlfriend.. Haha. A guy from e same poly but first met him in Chinablack with a funny experience. Haha. Both were seeing someone else after they first broke up and now, they're back together. Just some thots.. Wondering how can two person broke up and hated each other to e core, declared their love for someone else and den get back to each other again? Well, perhaps dats something which had never happen on me and therefore i cant anticipate wat it's gonna be like. Haha. Cos i never believe in patching up after a break up. Haha. Anyway, dat girl is god damn rich lor! Used to drive a Volkswagen to school and now she's driving a BMW Convertible! Wat e hell. I just wan an Honda Jazz is dat really so difficult? Duh.

Another fren's blog mentioned bout her boyfriend slapping her. FCUK! Dats something i'll NEVER accept of, from a guy, especially a boyfriend or husband! Ask birdy to try dat on me and results will be proven in less den a minute. 100% guaranteed! Haha! So wat if ppl say love is blind or wateva shit? I'll not hesitate to give dat guy a big tight slap or even a flying kick in his most sensitive area! Haha! I trust myself to be rational enuff to leave him den. Anyway, just some thots lah huh..


p/s: another sixteen days to his Pass Out Parade..

shipin's declaration

aide, u might find tis interesting too~! hahaha. =)

詩ぴん- -=* [ 夢想罐頭是沒有保存期限的﹐只在於你要不要打開它。 ] *=- says:
but anyway
詩ぴん- -=* [ 夢想罐頭是沒有保存期限的﹐只在於你要不要打開它。 ] *=- says:
i want to meet bob more compared to sherman!!!
詩ぴん- -=* [ 夢想罐頭是沒有保存期限的﹐只在於你要不要打開它。 ] *=- says:
surprisE???
h.s.f says:
yesh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
h.s.f says:
super surprising!!!!!!!!
h.s.f says:
i must definitely blog tis down!!! wahahahahahaha
詩ぴん- -=* [ 夢想罐頭是沒有保存期限的﹐只在於你要不要打開它。 ] *=- says:
yeah!!
詩ぴん- -=* [ 夢想罐頭是沒有保存期限的﹐只在於你要不要打開它。 ] *=- says:
i love bobby!!!
h.s.f says:
wow.
h.s.f says:
good.
h.s.f says:
for u and for him.
h.s.f says:
but wat happened actually make u like suddenly love him sooooooooo much? hahaha
詩ぴん- -=* [ 夢想罐頭是沒有保存期限的﹐只在於你要不要打開它。 ] *=- says:
hmmm. duno lehx..
詩ぴん- -=* [ 夢想罐頭是沒有保存期限的﹐只在於你要不要打開它。 ] *=- says:
tt time still quarrel bcoz of sherman..
詩ぴん- -=* [ 夢想罐頭是沒有保存期限的﹐只在於你要不要打開它。 ] *=- says:
after the hongkong 10days trip ba
詩ぴん- -=* [ 夢想罐頭是沒有保存期限的﹐只在於你要不要打開它。 ] *=- says:
seriously need him so much

Bob, really ought to congrats u~!!! hahaha. u managed to tame down tis lady here. haha. amazing.

e pig's talk

took e nite rider homeafter a cofy session with miss piggy at Spinelli. everything was great, but as usual, jus a lil more den a lil tired. haha. almost fell sick e nite before last. head was cracking and when i reached home i fell asleep almost immediately while waiting for birdy's call. didnt even have e strength to bath nor remove my makeup. woke up a few times and finally at 1am, gathered enuff strength to pull myself outta e bed to wash up and change outta my clothes. yeah i didnt bath. hahaha.

last nite e pig and e dog talked alot.. both learnt and gained something out of each other.. wahahahaha~! e main topic of e nite was: Platonic Friendship between the Opposite Sexes, is it possible? hahaha. well, she'd proven it impossible to me. i've doubts too but still, im sure dat no such nonsense will ever come in between me and birdy - at least for me. haha. too early to say dat? too over-confident of myself? yeah, dats just me. i finally came to realise i'd really made e rite choice back den.. e path of life im going thru now.. im contented enuff and im so glad. =) thou i cant anticipate wat e near future will be like, i know exactly tis is wat i want.

reached home at 0430hr, went to where i was told to, found a fifty dollar note, from my big darling. haha. he's such a sweetie~! knowing dat im freaking broke, worried dat i dun have enuff to spend. hahaha. yeah. starting from tonight, he'll be out in e jungle for four nites. well, good luck to him~!

aAAaRrRrGGgGgHHhHh~! e air con here is freezing cold! and im sitting at e COldSY bay. hahaha. but today is so comfortable cos im in my fav pair of black shorts, or bermuda u call it, and my birks~! haha. and now i shall enjoy my Honey Green Tea to soothe my throat! crazy? yesh i am! hahaha. i'd been working here for like... 25 days? and i tink i'd been visiting Sweet Talk for like... 20 days? whahahahahah! yeah scold me a freak! but i tink im kinda freaked out by e Pearl Milk Tea already.. but totally mesmerized by their Coffee Oreo with Pearl~! hahaha~!


=pig & dog=

=my blackie botak=


p/s: to tender or not to?

i shldnt have..

perhaps i really shouldn't had went in to check..
now im left with a total mystery..
19 July 2006..
wednesday..
52..
couple lab..
haha.

I drove to work today!

haha. e jam along CTE + a wrong turn causes me to be late. hahaha. my uncle went to msia and left his car with me but sadly, e car came at e wrong time. hahaha. it will be betta make use of if it was two days back, 9 aug - my first off day. haha. anyway, wanted to visit aide who had just discharged from e hospital but she was going out. changed of plans, thus not meeting my baby and went to Bugis to have lunch with birdy's ex-colleague, my current colleague. hahaha. took neoprints with her and it was e first time in her 28 years of life~! hahaha. went to pray at e temple and den head down to beach road - e army boys hangout. wahahahah~! didnt have e time to catch a movie cos intended to stay at home633 to spend time with his mum since she hardly have an off day. lovingly, papa leow and mama leow enjoyed themselves with their KTV session at home! how sweet~! hmm.. back to home659 for late nite supper. haha.

10 aug - woke up, went to settle e bills at NUH.. den to CMPB. application wasn't very smooth and e chances seems bloody low. kinda affected but cant do anything bout dat either. went back to causeway point to get some barang and cure his cravings for Long John Silver. haha. uncle passed me his car and we went to 888 as birdy needs a hair cut. haha den home633 we went. packed his stuffs and had dinner. first time tasted ahma leow's cooking. hahaha. but was too full to enjoy e food. took a lil nap and it's time to send birdy back. haha. basically e whole day we were travelling here and there. -_-" sickening.

somehow, i felt dat on my off days i usually felt more tired den when im working. i dunno why. thou im jus sitting down doing some retard stuffs, e hours are still very long. and i guessed dat prolly my body just knew dat it's off day and thus it just go into hibernation mode. hahaha. most of my off days are devoted to birdy and it just seems so good dat my next two off days will be solely for myself. haha. but e sad thing is.. i have to work for another six days straight before i get to off for two consecutive days. -_-" sian. and rite now my head is almost going to burst!! freaking headache causes me to be so restless to work and dats why im blogging away since boss is not around too. haha. AaaARrrRGgggGHHhhHh~!!!

oh yeah.. here's a lil sweet conversation which keeps me feeling happy..

me: we shall go overseas at e end of e year.. im too broke to go during ur block leave.. so we shall just make do with e chalet with my poly girls.. =(
birdy: at e end of e year, i'll be even broke!
me: why? (seriously have no idea at all.)
birdy: hmm.. end of e year dunno whose birthday is coming lor..

*puzzled* and den it suddenly hit me~! hahaha! he was actually refering to my birthday!! hahahah.

Im so PROUD of Birdy~!!

haha. he took an IPPT yesterday and guess wat? he was e only fellow in his platoon who gets a GOLD!! hahaha. in fact it wasnt any big news dat he'd gotten it cos all e sergeants had seen it coming. all of them have so much faith in him. haha. he managed to finish his 2.4km run in just 9m 07s, e fastest in his platoon! well, he's a born runner wat~! hahaha. and just last week, they went thru a SOC test. i dunno wat e hell is dat.. but they have to run with their "smart four", carry all e barang barang with them, and cross all e different hurdles and obstacles. haha. e targeted timing is to finish e whole course within 10m 30s and for those who manage to do it will not have to take tis test again for e rest of their BMT period. hahaha. well, of cos Birdy managed to skip those test for e following few weeks cos he cleared everything in just 9m 07s!! hahahah. yeah same timing as his 2.4km run. thus, he asked me to help him buy 4D. 0907! -_-"

alrite, lunch hour is over, time to get back to work. bye~! but before i end.. aide, pls take good care of ur own self.. u are really weak! but u cant die now k! i no money give white gold ar!!! (-_~)"

p/s: ladies, how bout chalet instead of just BBQing?

Click

-_- zzZzZZZZz. off for a day and here i am, back to work on a Sunday. dragged myself outta my bed. but never did i regret going to KBox last nite. really enjoyed, just a lil too tired. slept late e previous nite and woke up early [not SO early too..]
---> pick up e watch for birdy at Orchard from tis girl i'd only seen once for less den a minute.
---> did a lil lil window shopping cos i realised i havent shop in orchard for a long time! haha.
---> back to Sembawang to settle e bike's installment. gotta pay an extra of 27 bucks due to e late payment! sian.
---> back to birdy's hse.
everything was almost according to plan. just dat i woke up a lil later [not SO late too..] and have to go to Orchard first instead of Sembawang. and reached birdy's hse a lil later den him. hahaha.

watched Click with my bossHyna. supposed to be my treat but being such a magnanimous and thotful boss, he decided to pay for e tix. anyway, e show was nice~! yeah!! all along i thot dat e show is nothing but a comedy. however, it's a lil more den dat and i actually teared in e theatre! *suRpRisE SUrPrISe!~!* in between laughters were some heart-warming scenes. at e end of e show it taught one to truly appreciate and embrace their life. enjoy every single moment, irregardless of good or bad. else, it'll be too late to regret. =) watch it for urself! highly recommended by ME! it's definitely worth e money. oh and not forgetting e female lead, Kate Beckinsale! she's such a beauty!

next show on e list: My Super EX-Girlfriend!

good news for myself! off days changed to wednesday and thursday. birdy booking out on tuesday nite and only have to book in on thursday! hahaha. so i'll have both my off days for him! *grins* but i might be meeting my dear ladies and bitches.. OMG! where got enuff time!! hahaha. anyway shall see how lah huh. im busy to blog now..

p/s: too busy playing Scrabble at work!!

piglove is in e air

Wednesday, after work. wanted to surprise my dear fren by poping out at her work place and accompany her to take train back to jurong east.. Dunno wat exactly she's facing den but i know she's in a state whereby she needs her frens to be there and i knew im e one.

cos i ended work late, so i'd got no choice but to let her know dat im on e way to pasir ris.. Haha. Ended up, she called and said she's going home with someone else.. Thus i gotta alight at e next stop and take e train back.. At dat point of time, i almost wanted to take e train to Paya Lebar. But i didnt. Wat good will it do to me if i really see him? And how will he react if he sees me rite in front of him? I dunno. But im sure it wouldn't be nice for either of us.. Therefore i alighted at Kallang and took e next train back. Guess i just dun have e courage. While waiting for e train, my mood suddenly made a 360 degree turn. When e train arrived, i glanced thru e green cabins. And by e time im seated in e train, my stomach was churning.

Birdy didnt manage to salvage e situation when he finally called. Instead, he worsen it. I asked him wat will he do if i really go to Paya Lebar? His reply was, "even if u really go, i also cant do anything." of cos i know dat! And would u really tink dats wat im expecting to hear? Anyway i repeated e question and he replied, "i'll not feel good." dat wasn't wat i wanted to hear either. Haha. Guys will tink, why is it girls always like to ask those "wat if" questions.. It's too taxing for them to answer. Haha. But for me, sometimes i jus need him to say something which will make me happy even thou if it's jus some kinda consolence or white lie. Cos humans are born with e talent to deceive themselves despite knowing e facts.. hahaha.

Frankly speaking, i dun tink he understand me at all. At least he dun, when it comes to tis kinda situation. He never know when to say e rite thing to make me feel betta. I know dats him and i dun expect him to change cos i always believe in loving a person for who he/she is. But i seriously hope he can do something to prove to me dat i meant something to him. It's not dat i dun trust him. I really do. I know he truly loves me. But sometimes wat i need is a lil more assurance from him apart from his daily calls, and saying he loves me or misses me. Especially when im experiencing those kinda "mood swings". Tis problem occurs when e guilt manage to find its way to creep into me and stings me hard!

i know exactly why im feeling insecure too. And dats bcos i know a lil too much of his past. I have to admit, knowing e past stories of him and his ex girlfriends will never help me understand him more. (not as if i ever tink dat way..) but everything just happened and i just happened to learn of those stories.. (im not blaming anyone for dat.. Dats just wat i thot..)

Anyway, i tink i really dunno how to get angry with him. Haha. e moment i hung up e phone with him, i sent him an apologetic msg. He promised he'll try to quit smoking for me and he wanted us to get rid of e guilt in me, together. But i know its too hard. Almost impossible. For him to quit smoking and for me to feel guiltless. Cos i'd already grew to believe dat no one will be able to make me feel any less guilty except for dat one person.. And dats e reason why i chose to keep all these to myself. Cos everyone out there will be asking me to do something which i know i'll never be able to get it done. So wats e point?

When i was walking home dat nite.. I suddenly had e urge to sit down somewhere alone to blog. But too bad i dun have my laptop with me.. And i was sad dat i dun have my bro's car either. If not, i would definitely have gone out for a spin! I ended up lying on e slide of e playground at my void deck for more den an hour, keying everything into my phone! Haha. Very stupid of me, i know. But it was e only way i can thot of.. I began to love blogging. Putting my thots into words and reading them over and over again.. It kinda helps me feel betta. Dat was really e first time i ever did dat, sitting down alone, in e middle of nowhere.. And at e end of e nite, i start to wonder, is dat feeling only guilt or a lil more den dat?

Haha! Im jus so good at side tracking. Back to where i was initially.. My fren.. I received her msg and immediately i knew she was happier.. Boy, i was rite! Haha. Girl, lets not be threatened by those gossip mongers k! They are just a buncha evil bitches and jerks. Animals will always be there to laugh AND cry! =)

Thursday, off day. Sent ah fat to school and rotted at home for e whole day. e scorching sun makes me lazy to go settle birdy's bike installment. Fetched ah fat after sch with lil zan.. wanted to surprise feipo jiejie.. But to my disappointment, he says, "no! I dun wan to go!", when i asked whether he wans to go gaigai with gugu and find feipo jiejie. -_-" but he's still cute lah! e way he rejected me! Hahaha!

met up with piggy for a lil while to pass her something.. and everything is so so fine.. hahahaha. luckily both of us still managed to hop onto e last train home. haha. and all thanks to Mr George, i dun have to walk home alone in e middle of e nite. hahaha. we went for supper at 888. and it's until den i realised how long i haven been out for supper! hahaha. but dat doesnt means i dun eat supper at home lah. haha normally i go home after work i still eat e leftovers. and my dearest Mr George actually commented dat i'd grown fatter!! hahaha. well, dats true lah.. cos now e weighing machine at admiralty show 43 when i stood on it! anyway, his bike is really comfortable and quiet. hahaha as compared to birdy's which always causes noise pollution when he starts his bike. hahah.

Friday, back to work. SUPER BLUR~! made hell lots of silly mistakes! hahahaha. reason being.. "yestd off day, tml off day, today also off mood~!" hahaha. laughing it off with my colleague. hahaha. and she named me Blur Queen~!! however, i seriously tink something is blocking my eyes~! cos a lot of times when e phones are just in front of me and yet i cant see anything!! omg~! and Boss says one more time and he's gonna name me "Pak Jiao Sufen"!!! wahahha. anyway, later piggy is coming for dinner with me~! pig LOVE is in the AIR~!~! wahahahahahahaha.

now he smiles jus like his brother except not uglier den him!

TmL tml tMl TML..!~!~!