Friday, November 26, 2010

My Greatest Regrets of the Year


5月19日2010年 23:32hrs

这么久了。。四年了。。没想过你还会想起我。。这四年来还好吗?

今天什么日子?

还有写 blog?

忘记不过想进去看看,不介意再给我你的 blog 户口?

其实最希望你就那样把我忘了。想看看不过不看也好。。

其实找不到任何理由去怪你,对不起最后还摔坏你的电话。。

我也没怎样就是过日子。。生活还是要过。。

老实说你是我这生中最爱的人,没错的话以后也不会有更爱的。


你的简讯不禁让我落泪。我的简讯则一直还没发出去。。
我不相信你真的忘了5月19日是什么日子。。



5月25日2010年 23:27hrs

如果你不反对我也希望会有机会和你去看场演唱会。

其实那么多年了,经历那么多了,当年你所付出的让我每次想起怎么当时我就不用心珍惜。对不起。你其实付出的太多了。是我没资格说再见还是朋友。

希望能找天见个面聊聊天。这么多年没见想象不出你变成什么样了?

其实蛮想上你的 blog 看看你的生活点滴。。

如果两三年前我应该没勇气再见你,想通了,不见难道等七八十岁才见?

其实你曾经付出的太多太多了,你没亏欠我什么,真的算起了是我负你太多。


深夜里无意睡着了,而在梦醒来时看到了这则简讯还是让我感到非常心疼。。
难道我俩就要活在不断自责的情况里吗?



今天是我25岁生日。我唯一的愿望就是收到你的简讯。可是等了一整天到头来还是以失望收场。虽然好友都在身边与我庆生,可是还是难免有点失落。或许你忘了我的生日?我还是不信。相信是你选择不再与我有任何瓜葛吧?为什么呢?大三八告诉我,或许因为之前的简讯我都没回复而导致你的自尊心受损,或是让你领悟到不该与我继续联络。难道是真的吗?第一次我写了则很长的简讯,然后想了想不知该不该发出去。。第二次我是因为累过头所以睡着了。其实我还比你想要了解你这几年来的状况。。我也非常开心能够再次与你“复合重逢”。总觉得还有些遗憾。。我也清楚记得你说过打算在我21岁生日当天与我求婚。可惜的是阿拉王子与三八公主没能开花结果而三八公主没那份福气得到阿拉王子一生的爱护。这一切都是由我给破坏的。。

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Jayen's journal..

"I am happy cos my brother plays with me.
I will be sad when my father beats me.
I will get angry when my brother does not share with me.
I am excited when my father gives me present.
I feels bored when my brother does not play with me."


Feel so sweet after reading this entry in his journal.. Can see the closeness between the brothers. But perhaps the little brother is the only person he can relate most of his emotion to.. Haha..

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Once again..



Thank u Mrs Meng!



Trust. Incompetency. Responsibility. Stress. Am afraid what u thought might not be what it is.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Allen&Ashleigh

It's amazing how there is a combination of alan&ashlie in one company and allan&ashley in another one.. What's more amazing was when alan&ashlie met allan&ashley in the course of work..

So Ashlie decided to bring Ashley into the hall for a concert she long for. And she was so grateful bout it that she nearly weep. Haha!

Wonder if I'll ever meet a allen&ashleigh?



Thursday, September 02, 2010

Eighty-nine; Seventy-four

Last night the headache was torturous. I was awoken and had to pull myself out of bed at 5am to pop some pills. Gosh.. Besides that, I had a great time catching up with my primary school "sista" during dinner. This meetup has been dragged for the longest time and still there is a shortage of one more person. The one that is so out of our life and whom we only sees her at her wedding or babies' shower and birthdays.

It's been some time since I last took public transport to work. No doubt it's super convenient and it's faster to drive, there's also some minus points i.e. cannot close my eyes and rest during the journey but instead have to be super focus on the road.. Haha.

Oh wells, i've put that two short paragraphs on draft for so long and today is already 6 Sep. Few of the animals met up for crabby session last night and it was great. The crabs and the companion of cos! It's been monthsssss since we last had "Animals' Time" with everyone's presence and it's certainly not an easy task to gather everyone. This time round is no exception. There are a few things which are kinda saddening but I shall leave it to the next entry.

On one of the Saturday three weeks ago, I had to drop by NTU to pick up some DVD and deliver to my client at Ritz Carlton hotel in the wee hours. That was followed by going to F1 office to pick up some stuffs. So the very nice bf accompanied me to run around despite playing mahjong for the whole night and having to work that very night. As the timing was a little off, we were so pathetic to have parked the car at marina square and sleep inside! Haha. This two projects have certainly taught me how to make use of time by sleeping in the car. Guess what my colleague said was right, if one day I ever have my own car, my car will turn into my storage area cum second home.

After which, as we were on our way home, we passed by si-beh-lor and so decided to go and offer prayings. Then I suddenly had the urge to draw a lot while walking out of the temple. Naturally, I seeked for advice on my career. It was my first time doing it and I hope I did it correctly. It was a good lot for me but surprisingly, a really lousy one for Birdy. Other than that, it was rather scary too. In a sense that how our lots differ from each other.

Lot 89
"As jade is hidden in a stone, wealth and fortune gradually grow. A notable patron will lead the way for u: u are happy and have no more to say."

Ur family will be safe and u will enjoy good health. Business enterprises grow smoothly and ur dreams of becoming rich will be realized. Matrimony will be successful and a boy will be born. Farming and the silk industry will bring a big profit. Livestock will prosper with hard work. The visitor u are expecting has started on his journey, and the missing will be found sooner or later. Things lost will reappear. U will be successful in lawsuits. Residential change is recommended. The sick will be cured. Ur ancestral graves will have their peace undisturbed.

Lot 74
"To go forward u may, but to withdraw leaves u in a sorry plight. If u venture without careful thoughts, u will suffer a remorseful fate.

Ur home is unsafe and u urself are in a difficult situation. U have bitter rivals to ruin ur efforts in business. U will suffer great financial loss. A broken marriage brings physical injury and torture and pregnancy fails to bring forth result. U will have no success in farming and silkworm crop, and disease will inflict damage to ur livestock. Visitors will be delayed, and the missing will never return. Taking disputes to court is not advisable. Moving home is not recommended. U have no hope of regaining what was lost. Sickness will be prolonged, and ancestral graves are liable to destruction.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

9 August 2010

Today I reached home at 2045hrs and Mamargaret exclaims, "why are u home so early?!?!" So what the hell. But can't blame her for that reaction either. Haha. Cos I've been reaching home late everyday and come to think of it, I've worked for don't know how many days without off-ing since 26 July!! And there's two more weeks for me to endure!! With an even more hectic schedule coming up..

Monday when I took back the odyssey and drove to NTU, I was feeling so stressed. Keep imagining what's gonna happen if I were to bang into something again. Haha. Yea, the repair took almost a week and cost me $2,300! Ok, not me but the company. I still feel so bad lah thou everyone were telling me that I don't have to! Cos they make me worked like slave and that's the cause of me dozing off while driving! Haha. Well, bosses didn't allow me to pay for the repair either and Birdy keeps saying how much they dote on me.

Whatever that is, hopefully after the whole YOG thingy I can have a good good rest. Mid September to October is another few weeks of shows every wkends!


9 August 2010 0230hrs

Sunday, August 15, 2010

"Am fine."

I wish I could help u.. I really wish to. But there is no way I can do anything.. I couldn't believe what I've heard.. I seek for clarification and was proven wrong. Ouch. That feeling sucks. I don't know why but I feel for u. Thought keeps running thru till I dreamt of u.. U told me u weren't fine, u broke down. It's worrying. It's far worse than I thot. I'm praying for u.


An average person tells 4 lies per day, 1,460 per year. A total of 88,000 by the age of 6. And the most common lie is "I'm fine".


P/S: I shouldn't probe, neither should u.

Thursday, August 05, 2010

Fifty One Months

I met up with Birdy after work and headed to cwp. We got some sushi off the counter, bought 100g of bakwa to satisfy my cravings and two bottles of green tea.. Then we drove to the highest level of the multi storey carpark infront of his house, and ate in the car. It isn't easy for us to spend quality time with each other, given our work schedule. Even harder to enjoy a proper meal together on the 4th of every month.. Thou I'm not someone who really celebrates anniversary, still, this date reminds us of how much we've been thru.

A simple night, all bout our future, nothing lavishing, comfortably in our own world, I LIKE.

Monday, July 05, 2010

Marriage vs Relationship

In a relationship..
She is still waiting and hoping.

He started dating.

In a marriage..
She told me they quarreled and the term "divorce" was brought out.

He told me it was so bad that he almost wanted to bring her to the lawyer firm.

In a relationship and wanted to step into marriage..
She felt that regardless of the right or wrong person, as long as the timing is right, it shall be.

He told his buddies, "bobian lor.."

I need some changes in my life. Is marriage gonna be the next step?

Thursday, July 01, 2010

Right-Hand-Girl Part II

After the whole saga last weekend at the concert, my few days of uneasiness have been eased. Completely.

Following the compliment, nod and smile from Year One, this year it was sealed in an envelop, practical and sweet.

"For u. For ur SLV hard work. Myself and Johnny decided to give it to u.."

This little act of his really touches my heart and was totally unexpected.. Alot of people probably feels it's unjustifiable.. But I feels there's more to that.

It's always nice to be appreciated for things u does and being trusted for things u've been told.

That's my nature, hard to change.

Once again, thanks, and happy birthday. =)

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Broken@Work

Time will tell. I'm staying positive. Please prove me right and not disappoint me. =)

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Mid-Year of the Mid-Twenties

That spells a lousy month!! (which supposedly should be the most happening due to the June birthdays we've got..)

First of all, I'm incredibly busy at work.

Bestest frens of mine, one after another is having problems of which I couldn't be of much help. That was terrible. I don't wish to witness any tragedy neither would I wan history to repeat.

Duabuyi was suddenly admitted to hospital and diagnosed with aneurysm. That was a life or death decision and again she proves to be a very strong woman whom I am so proud of. She made it and I'll always remember the brave front she put up before she was wheeled into the operating theatre.

The presence met with an accident and felt it was unlucky for him to live. Till this point in time, I still couldn't fathom.

He said, "a few hundred thousands is insufficient." I felt the huge responsibility on his shoulder. My admiration for him grows.

It has been the most tired and exhausted time in my life thus far. Yet the strong will in me refused to give up nor lose hope.

I hate it when people around me are not happy. But I am just me. How am I able to ensure everyone around me could live happily?

I am far worse than Carrie Preston. Why?

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Passion & Belief

How long more is passion gonna last me till?
How far away can my beliefs bring me to?

Saturday, June 05, 2010

Dua Bui Yi..

I can only pray for u to..






Thursday, June 03, 2010

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Dooms month

3 June - Patrizio Buanne - venue & logistics support

7 June - Ella Tay's birthday!

14 June - Mika - venue & logistics support

14 to 19 June - SLV Expo - coordination, registration, operations, logistics, sales, marketing, 2011, go there PR and sell my smile..

15 June - Derick Gwee's birthday!

19 June - Shaolin Legacy - venue & logistics support

19 to 20 June - Air Supply - artiste support

24 June - Engelbert Humperdinck

24 to 26 June - Sam Hui - artiste, venue & logistics support

28 to 9 July - Birdy's reservice

Fabulous.

And I just dropped my iPhone this morning. One deep cut. I'm just so cursed with the colour red. Red camera. Red casing. What else?



Tuesday, May 25, 2010

iSight

My eyesight is seriously deteriorating with the endless hours of staring on my netbook and iPhone.

Boss gave the green light to get a new laptop but I don't even have time to search for one!



Monday, May 24, 2010

Can u please slow down a little?

Looking at the rate time passes by, it freaked me out totally.



Thursday, May 20, 2010

Unexpected

I didn't expect u would reply.. Neither did I expect u to ask for that.. What is it that u actually wanted to know? What were u thinking exactly?

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Workaholic-to-be






At the current rate, I'll probably die by 63.

.a date never forgotten.




Friday, April 30, 2010

Can't be more stupid!

I attempted to wake up at 6.30am, planning to go to work earlier so i can finish more work. I only managed to wake up at 7.30am, still half an hour earlier than my usual timing..

I reached bishan at 9am, the time I usually leave home, and realised my precious laptop is not with me!

WTFing Friday this is.


Thursday, April 29, 2010

Favourite Day

Of all seven days in a week, which is ur favourite? I believe TGiF is something the Monday-to-Friday would shout for. But my personal pick would be Thursday.

I realised I actually love the feeling of waiting. The feeling of having something to look forward to. The feeling of u-know-something-great-is-going-to-happen. The kinda excitement while waiting. The kinda anticipation while expecting it. And ya, I don't literally mean waiting for people during meet ups or replying to my SMS and etc. Not that kinda wait ok.

Sometimes I don't even want that something to arrive so quickly. Cos I know, once it comes, it will go as quickly. Hence, would rather time stop at this point of time. Haha a little psychotic maybe.

Thursdays give me the feeling of, Friday is next and weekend will be here soon! I'll usually feel happier waking up to a Thursday than a Friday.. But today, is seriously not a happy Thursday! This week I have tonnes to complete at work before I go on my long deserved break. I worked out my calendar last Thursday and yet till today I am still where I was. Argh!! This is dreadful. And the reason? I've more things to work on everytime I return to my table.

Last week boss asked me, "Can u still cope with more work? Can u help me with this-and-that?" How can I say no when he seems so apologetic. Two days back he told me he has too much work that he doesn't know how to offload and he is very stress. I sympathise him but don't wear such big hat lah! Ok maybe I should tell myself that too. Haha!

Happier note, next week this time, I'll be waking up in Taipei and welcoming Kao Shiung! Now, back to my tonnes of uncompleted work.



Monday, April 26, 2010

Dilemma

Should I or should I not take the risk?


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Not right

Not in the best of mood.
Something is wrong with my system.
Nothing seems right.
What's with me exactly?

Saturday, April 17, 2010

It's a Friday night..

And I left office at bout 9pm, had dinner with Birdy then back to work at home from bout 12am.

Now it's 5.30am and I'm lying on my bed with a very sour back cum starving stomach and dear Birdy snoring away beside me! What a fantastic way to start off this weekend.

Recently I realised i've been engaging in alot of writings at work which not only kills millions of my brain cells, it is killing me literally. Language is never my strength and my vocabs are pte ltd. I needs to concentrate fully for my ideas to flow flawlessly and dictionary.com has become my best fren. That explains why I always need hours to finish a letter or article.

SHE concert later. =D


Wednesday, April 14, 2010

101 blabberings..

I should never use myself as a yardstick for comparison.

U makes me feels incompetent.

I seriously miss u.

U emphasize the fact that I should learn to never rely on anyone.

They say friends are bullshit. I disagrees thou.

63 days to SLV.

When can I live the life I yearn for?

Reality is cruel. Poor pretty boy.

I should stop being so gullible.

Do u really appreciates? Perhaps I'm never on ur standard.

Glad I have Birdy.

Contentment is a form of blessing.

If only I could paint my life the way I wants..



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Saturday, April 10, 2010

101 things..

When I starts to wonder, why am I never tired.. It's also when I begins pondering, how long more can I last?


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, April 09, 2010

In memory of..




If only ctrl+Z really works in real life!


YEO KENG HIAN!! I HATE U LAH!!!!!!



This is super ugly can??!!
But darn cute.




U should die of diabetes.
Ok that's very mean and evil of me.



You have been ...





Forgiven
lah!!!




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Saturday, April 03, 2010

Sammi Rocks!

Just got back from Sammi Cheng's concert! She is really good I must say. Still remember for her past two shows in Singapore, jj actually managed to get free tickets but he didn't give it to me! And way back then, I've always thot she is worth watching and wanted to.. It's just that I've never understand why or feel it's worth paying hundreds of dollars just to watch a live performance.. Haha.

Now, since I joined this industry, watched at least 20 shows or more? I can truly comprehend and really enjoy the live atmosphere. But still I won't pay to watch a concert! Haha. Probably it's too expensive a leisure for me at this point in time. Wait till I earn $5,000 per month bah.

The next upcoming will be S.H.E! Can't wait! Haha..

Alright, time to rest. Before that..





Thank you Mrs Meng!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, March 26, 2010

Fourth year; Third time; finally..

There is no need to hope and wait anymore.

Feeling weird; couldn't explicate.

Happy or relieve? Neither.

Answers unclear; doubts multiplied.

My question? It shouldn't matter.

Your response; complicates matter.



Now.
What am I thinking?
Why am I thinking?
How should I be thinking?

Friday, January 15, 2010

Happy 2010!

Finally a post after so long.. Just came back from a jog which was due weeks ago. And I tell myself I must prove im no procrastinator! Hopefully the jogging will become a routine and somebody will stop smoking by the end of 2010! Haha..

Everything in 2009 seems so vague.. Im not gonna do up another post of my 2009 as I'd already done so at WRA. An entry that basically reminds us of the "BIG" events happening within Animals. A post so lengthy that took me weeks to finish it. Neither am I gonna come up with some crappy resolution which I'll never fulfil it.

I told her im sad for the thing she had gone thru for her love. And at the same time, happy for the love had put her in such agony. People like her (but not her) probably wants a love life like mine but I secretly beg to differ. For I believe that will allow myself learn to appreciate Birdy more..

All of a sudden, everything around me seems screwed. Not such a good start for a brand new year ya? I guess its the MTC acting up again. I want no responsibilities. I want more freedom. I need my unusual +veness.